I’ve never wanted to be married- Michael Ibru’s daughter Elvina

According to report that back in England two decades ago, Elvina Ibru won an unusual beauty contest. She was crowned the Miss Big and Beautiful Competition UK. Apart from being beautiful, to win the equally prestigious beauty contest, Elvina had to be on the big side. At her peak, Elvina weighed all of 210 kgs. And that really is big. Along with her sisters, Gloria and Obukome Ibru, they remained three of a kind! The famous daughters of an equally famous father, Olorogun Michael Ibru, Elvina has had life as rosy as it possibly could be. And she openly agreed to this, when she boldly declared, “I have always had everything I wanted. I have not really ever thought about not having anything I want.” But Elvina also agrees that life is not a bed of roses! With a rich father who has been under health care over the years, living a quiet life at an ocean front in America, Elvina says life has taught her to be passionate about the things that mean much to her. Elvina explains it all in this interview with PAUL UKPABIO.

What has been happening to you of late Elvina?

I have been around, though in the last four years, I have been shuttling between Nigeria and the United State of America where my father is.

So how is your dad?

He is fine, still fresh and very handsome. It’s difficult to bring a good man down. He, however, has to stay in America because of the kind of care that he needs. There are some certain factors that scare us a little bit about him coming home here. Little things, I mean things that seem little, but are crucial. For instance, the hectic traffic. If he was to be here and he has a small infection, he might be stuck in traffic, you know. So unfortunately, he is still in America but doing very fine. My sister is there with him and we take turns to go there and be with him. We rotate our visit.

My sister, Osio, is the one that stays permanently with him. She is based in America. All other of his children take turns to be with him. We try and make sure that one of us is always there. For instance, Oscar is there right now. By the time that Oscar is coming back, someone else will be on the way there. He stays at the ocean front. All our properties are by the water or close to the water for obvious reason. There is definitely a connection between our businesses with the sea (laughs).

How is your son?

He is good; he is the best thing that as ever happened to me. His name is Elisha and there are so many things attached to that name. The literary meaning of his name Elisha in Hebrew means ‘my God my salvation.’ So he’ll grow up never to forget that without God he is nothing. Then there is the story in the Bible about the great prophet Elijah who God was going to take into heaven. God told him that his time would soon come. He gave him a message for Elisha that asked Elisha what he wanted and Elisha said that he wanted double anointing. So if Elijah was a great prophet and Elisha now had double, you can imagine how great Elisha turned out! So I think for my son, the sky is the limit.

Remember what God said, that Elisha had to be there when Elijah was leaving before he could get the anointing. You know what that meant; Elisha placed Elijah on permanent watch. He was usually there 24/7, close to Elijah so that he didn’t miss the opportunity. The name shows a man of determination, which tells me that there is nothing that you want to do, if you really put your mind on it and the thing is good, you will achieve it.

Also, the name has a lot of meaning to me because before I had him, I had a miscarriage that I went through before I eventually had him. I was pregnant with twins, which meant double. So when he arrived, it was like God had given me double anointing back. You know God doesn’t cheat anybody. He gives you what you really need at the time you need it.

How about his dad?

His dad is fine. He is in Port Harcourt. We are not together anymore. But we are very good friends; in fact he got married last December to a very nice girl. So Elisha has a very beautiful, lovely step mom that I am very close to. We are trying so hard to be a unit, even though I am in Lagos and he is in Port Harcourt. But Elisha comes first. He is a good dad.

We heard somewhere that you in a relationship…

(Laughs) there is always talk of me being in something. Yes, talk about me being in one relationship or another. Frankly speaking, that remains my business. So it’s sweet sometimes when you actually sit back and hear all those things people are saying about my love life. But the truth is that, I keep a mystery to my love life these days. People make up their stories, and create imaginary characters around me.

You won an international beauty pageant because of your big size, why are slimming down?

I think Gloria, my elder sister, started it. Initially, she was the biggest amongst us all. She started losing weight first. Then I was getting bigger by the day. So two years ago, after Gloria inspired me with her gradual weight loss, I started telling myself that I could do it too. I guess what eventually triggered it off was that I had been big all my life but I never had any sickness or illness. It got to a point when I was beginning to feel sluggish. I felt I was suddenly trapped in my own body. There were some things that I had always loved to do, but my body was just not responding.

So I was asking myself, what was happening in my body? Also I was feeling little ache at my back, and I just had a little son. So I asked myself how I was going to be enjoying and playing with my little son when I could not even lift my body. So it was not really about being prettier or being more beautiful that I lost weight. It was more about my health. Though I never had health challenges attached to my former weight.

At my biggest, I weighed 210 kg and I am 5 feet 11. That is a very large person! But I didn’t have ailments like diabetes, cholesterol or hypertension except for the small ache at my back. I didn’t want a situation where I had to get to where I became unhealthy. So I had to nip in the bud, the overweight. I cannot now talk about my diet because I am not through yet. I still want to go down 16-20 more kg. That is the size I feel I should keep, not because that is what health experts say, but what I feel I want.

But do you mean that you are still intending to reduce further than this?

Yeah, but people are asking me why I want to do that, because my size as it is now is quite attractive. I feel better now though; I was weighing 210 kg then. Presently it is 115. So I have lost about 95kg. If I can get to 100kg or 95kg, then I will be very happy. When I get to that point yeah, I can share my diet recipe and perhaps help some other people who are in such situation that I have been. All my life, I have been struggling with weight. It is not easy.

But with your huge body frame, you won a beauty contest in the UK…

Yes (laughs), that’s a long time ago. Yes that was the Miss Big and Beautiful competition. But right now, I may be much slimmer than what I was before, but I know that I don’t see myself as a normal sized person, I’m still big. Though much more comfortable. To be honest, I don’t want to be too skinny either. I am still out there for the sisters with curves. Yeah, I am still an advocate for curves. I don’t want to be skinny; I just want to feel good and know that I am healthier. And having no health issues or having worries that the heart could give way any time. I am proud of what I achieved as Miss Big and Beautiful, especially at that time; I was the only African girl in the competition. Just for that alone was an achievement. Having curves is African.

So how have people been reacting to your new passion of losing weight? And do people still complement you that you are beautiful?

They still do, but some say I am looking a bit drawn, a little bit tired, I don’t know what they see. They say that before, I was very fresh, that I looked like a baby. However, most people say well-done, you are looking younger and healthier. So it’s a good feeling.

So people are still ‘toasting’ you for marriage?

Hmm, ‘toasting’ does not mean marriage at all. Whether you are thin or big, people will still ‘toast’ you (laughs). Even if you are not beautiful, guys will still ‘toast’ you. It has nothing to do with looks. But for marriage, this is one aspect that people see me as being very controversial. I have never wanted to be married. And I do not want to marry presently, and I don’t want to ever get married. But like they say, never say never! I have never ever had the vision of getting married. I have never ever seen myself ever getting married. Even with Elisha who was a planned child, there was no marriage plan. Though his dad wanted marriage, I told him, I love you. I will have your child, you could even be the father of my children, but I am not marrying. I allowed him to understand that it wasn’t that I was against him, but I just didn’t want to marry.

Do you have any special reason for not marrying?

If I was born in America or Europe, perhaps I would have been taken to see a therapist. Honestly, I have never ever fancied marriage. They say most little girls have dreams of Prince Charming and their little cottage, a garden and a child or two. I have dreamt of children many times, but never of a little cottage with one man there. That is not for me. So maybe if I see a therapist, they will be able to sort out what is wrong with my brain. It might be related to the fact that I am from a polygamous home. It might also be connected to the fact that my mom was somebody that I can refer to as having been perfect. She was sometimes sad, always had a few issues with my father and his wives. Maybe it has to be that. My mom was who I called a renaissance woman.

She was beautiful, educated; she made my father what he became. She was hard- working, domestic, and when it came to being social, she was very social. She was a generous person, she had seven healthy babies. If it was to cook, she was right there, and when it was groove time, she was there and ready. So if a man was not satisfied with her, I don’t know who they will be satisfied with. I don’t know. I have friends, girls who are married and to be honest, I don’t think that any of them can honestly tell me that they are completely happy with their marriages. So that makes marriage scary to me. So they ask me, ‘Elvina how come you are still looking fresh? And I reply that it is because I didn’t get married and twisted.’

What if another opportunity to have another child comes?

I wouldn’t hesitate. I have always loved children. A lot of people were surprised that I started late. They thought that by the time that I had Elisha, that I would probably have had like five or six children because, I had always wanted children. But you don’t just go and have a child for just anybody. One has to be careful. For instance, even though Elisha’s father and I are not together again, we are still good friends and he is a good father to his son. That is the important part.

That is the joy of choosing a good father. Not going to have a baby because this boy is fine or this boy has money to spend, or this one comes from a good home. It is more than that. One has to be careful. And the thing you should remember most is ‘what if anything wrong happens to the child. Apart from the obvious, my sisters who are very close to me are capable of being there for me. But anything can happen and he has to go and stay with his father.

Did you weigh all that well before you had Elisha?

Of course, do you know how many men wanted me to have a baby with them? They were many who wanted that. They were some who even just after two months in the relationship wanted me to have babies for them. I had to be careful. Elisha’s father has sisters that I am close to. So Elisha has a big family from all sides, not just from mine.

Another passion of yours is music

Yes, I haven’t done anything on music for a while now. And that is because I lost my voice. When that happened, I opened a production company called ’2wice as Nice. We do documentaries.’ Recently I have gone into movies, we also produce TV programmes; we are the first that produced Idols West Africa, the competition that Timi Dakolo won and Omawunmi emerged second; we brought Idols to Nigeria. That is my day job. At night, I work at Classic FM where I am an ‘on air personality.’ I am on air everyday midnight on a show called Melo-Magic. So in the evening when everyone is going home to rest, that is when I pick my bag again and head up to work. But it’s fun. There I express myself. That is what endears me to people.

I am open. I don’t bottle up. That is the winning formula for my show. I am a real person. Yet I have a third job! You see why I lost all that weight (laughs), I suddenly had too much work to do. So, its work. Hard work. I am presently in a play called Hear Word which will be showing soon. It is being directed by a wonderful lady called Ifuoma Fafunwa. I have the privilege of working with some major names in the industry, Bimbo Akintola, Aunty Joke Sylva, Aunty Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, Kate Henshaw and a host of amazing divas on stage. That is coming up in May. So I rehearse in the morning, in the afternoon I come to this our restaurant which we just opened, and in the evening, I’m off to the radio station.

You are obviously very busy. Do you have time for any relationship now?

Relationship can wait, this is money matter (laughs), but if a nice enough person comes up that can fit into my schedule, why not? He can meet me at midnight; we go out for a walk and have drinks. If you like somebody, you’ll do the needful. If I am out there at work at midnight, he won’t be asleep; he will be with me (laughs).

Now you are into restaurant business, taking care of human food appetite. What is this part of you about?

The restaurant is called Ona’s Kitchen. My father’s name is Onajivwere, a name that I also call my son. Yes, that is his Urhobo name. My brother had a child and called his name Onajivwere too. So we have three people bearing that name in the family. Using the same name for the restaurant is like an ode to my father. We specialise in presenting Niger Delta menu because we are proudly Urhobo girls. Banga is a constant here, Ukodo, Banga rice, and a lot of other Nigerian foods like Ofe Isala, Oha, Afang, Epankukwo, Edikanikong and continental dishes.

Do you cook?

My sisters and I really throw down when it comes to cooking. My mom was born in Oron. As a super woman, cooking was one of the many things she could do. We were always in the kitchen with her. Even the boys were usually in the kitchen then too with us. That is why today, the boys are very domestic. That is where we learnt from.

At some point in the past, you and your sisters were running a night club in town. So with this new restaurant, are you expecting to graduate it into a nite club business in the near future?

(Laughs) It’s not what I personally always wanted to do. But Gloria yes. However, she doesn’t want a nite club as such now, but a lounge in the true sense of its meaning, with Jazz pianist/singer every evening 7pm to 1am with beautiful cocktail, nice finger food, and once in a while, bring in a popular Jazz artiste from abroad, the real Jazz players. Gloria wants that kind of thing and we are already working on it. We do not want to rent somebody’s property; that is why it has delayed. We want it on our property, which we are building now. She tried renting but we ended up working for somebody else. That was why Gloria decided she wanted it on our property. This present place is not just a restaurant alone, but also has a guest house which is my cousin’s place.

Your style?

It is comfort, simplicity, elegance. I like wearing African clothes. I am eccentric about African prints. I like nice Nubian style. You can’t catch me in body hug, body magic. If you do not like me as I am, I’ll excuse you to look in another direction.

Your mom was not a Nigerian before she married your dad. Where was she from?

My mom was half Cameroonian and half German which is where my skin colour comes from. But if she were to be alive today, and you asked her, she will tell you that she is a Calabar girl. Or possibly a Bonny girl. She was born in Calabar, raised in Oron and she never knew her blood father. Her mother married Chief Pepple from Bonny. He was the man she knew as her father.

So putting all that together, how does it affect your origin?

I am an Urhobo girl! Please what is my business with German or whatever, my father is from Delta State, Agbara-Otor, Ughelli North, and that is where I am from. I am an Urhobo girl that likes to turn Banga and starch well (laughs).thenationon reports.